what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize