he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize