Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
