I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
