Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
