We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
