Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
