taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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