How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
