what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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