marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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