i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
