i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
