twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
