Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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