Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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