**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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