i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize