YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
