I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
