Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
