i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
should my penis look like a turkey
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
