Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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