i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize