Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
