When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
