Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
