My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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