I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
