About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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