I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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