to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
