I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My dick has a subreddit
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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