if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
