I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
