her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
