i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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