At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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