i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
