I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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