just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
