Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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