Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
