I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
