Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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