Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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