if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
