please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
