He asked to "fluff my boner.."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm determined to sit on that face.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
