I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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