Kiss
Puke
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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