don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
