you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
