He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
