i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
