You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
