You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
