If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
