Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
