Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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