tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
