after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
