I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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