Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
