dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize