I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
