in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize